I haven't been on this site for over a year and tonight I thought I would take a peek at what is going on in worship the past few months and there it was, "kicked out of ministry.... dreadlocks." 


Let me tell you my story.

I have been a volunteer worship leader for 4 years. I had to deal with someone on my worship team (Terry) who along with his son (Ryan)  tore me down saying that I go flat all the time, I am sharp some of the time, I move around too much on the platform, the songs we sing are out of date (which they aren't, most of them are on CCLI's top 50) and I needed to be replaced. I had another run in with Ryan (he was dating my niece) and it was something minor.

Terry, his wife and Ryan got mad over some issues at the church and left. Terry was the type of person who served on deacon boards at different church's and he let it be known that at some other church's he had to let the pastor know who was in charge. They had to get rid of pastors.


After leaving the church he told a board member that on of the reasons they left was because I had sent Ryan messages on facebook and jumped him out over a half a dozen times. All of that was a lie. I sent
Terry a letter and told him what a liar he is and jumped him out about some other things in the process. Terry took the letter to a board member and they called me in about it and asked me to step aside from leading worship and I could return when they saw a change in my attitude.


After several weeks I sent one board member a meassage about returning and told him that their decision was inconsistent on what they had done. For example, one of the boys leaders was swimming in a river with 4 or 5 boys and they went skinny dipping. They told him not to do it again or they would remove him. They were breaking the law and that was fine. The church secretary has jumped the pastor out and caused him stress that led to him having a heart attack. Because her and her husband are probably the biggest givers in the church they won't do anything about it.

I asked them 3 times if everyone has to follow the same rules and gave them examples and they said, "yes" and that isn't the case. There are tons more examples I can give you.  I am the pastors brother and I told them, the rules are different for me and they denied it.

HELP, HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE THIS?  I have asked them to meet with me and I'm waiting a response. If they refuse, I'll ask a second time. If they refuse, according to Matt 18, I can publically confront them and that is what I'll do.

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It sounds like a messed up situation but it does sound like you are "cruisin' for a bruisin'", looking to assert your rights. Is it a community of the redeemed, who know they are broken and messed up and love each other because God showed them how to love, or just another group of people trying to carve out their own little kingdoms?


It sounds like you've been wronged but I would gently suggest that, while there is a place for sorting out injustices, there is a bigger place before that for spending time at the cross and being sure that your approach is gentle with the love of Jesus, whose anger was about the desecration of his father's house, not the lies spoken about himself.



While I can see the personal aspect to this issue, I don't see this as being a personal issue as much as a morality issue and church government issue with the board.  They are not acting by biblical principles by not removing the youth leader.

I know others may disagree, but I believe it is the pastor who should be in charge, not the board.  I get the feeling this church doesn't operate that way.  I know of similar situations like this, and while I wholeheartedly understand what you are feeling,  I wouldn't be surprised if the confrontation doesn't work out the way you want it to.  I hate to be a pessimist, but oftentimes hardness of heart is very stubborn.  Don't get me wrong, I think a confrontation is what is needed.  Just pray first.  A lot.  And I would be looking for a new church.  But that is just me. And I realize I am totally injecting my own experiences into this too.

Just out of curiousity, what does "jump someone out" mean?  I just am not familiar with it.

You mention that you are the pastor's brother, and it sounds like there is more than a little opposition to the pastor right now.  You may just be "collateral damage" - if there are people trying to get rid of the pastor, the last thing they'll want to do is to have a relative in a place of leadership in the church.  And if they do manage to get rid of your brother the pastor, you probably won't want to stay on as worship leader anyway, right?


You mentioned that Ryan was dating "your niece" - are you referring to the daughter of your brother the pastor?  Maybe that was a place you were sticking your nose in where you shouldn't have???  Just guessing.


And then, if you're the pastor's brother and you can't get yourself reinstated as volunteer worship leader, that to me is a sign that there are things going on that you're not aware of.  In which case, all of your attempts to call people out on the failings of others aren't going to get you anywhere, because the battle you're fighting is not the real one.


Presumably someone else is leading the worship right now - keep in mind that every time you ask them to reinstate you, you're also asking them to de-mote that person... how is that person connected in your church?  How would you feel about just being a singer / player / sound tech under that person's leadership?  (After I resigned as WL, I never could bring myself to accept the new guy, even though in a different situation I would probably be able to put up with him :-)


While I personally might react to this situation very much the way you have, as an outside observer, I would suggest that you just step back and let the church sort itself out.  If you really feel the need to be a worship leader (or team member), see if there's another church nearby who needs someone (it might not be a bad idea to just be in someone else's worship band for a while, don't try to be the leader).



I agree with you, Charles, you seem to have summed up everything I wanted to add, especially the bit about collateral damage... :)

Surely God is in charge not a deacon.

Jesus doesn't have any co-stars

Sadly for us humans confrontation so often causes more confrontation.   If they are hard hearted then they may see danger even if you try to discuss this calmly with them.  As for the public confrontation this is discribed as a whole church dealing with individuals.  In this case it seems that you are the indivual who is seen to be in the wrong. 

It may be that you are being so effective for the kingdom that this is part of the devils attack on you.  But God is in charge Jesus has won so maybe he will use this to put you somewhere new!   The response you have is prayer and love.  If it comes to it shake the dust off your feet and move on.

The reponse we have is prayer and love.  We know the situation so pray for TD, Terry, Ryan and this Church



I see red flags everywhere, and while there have definitely been some wrongs done here to you personally, that's not what the kingdom of God is about. I think Wulf has touched the sore spot - as far as you personally, I'd suggest that God is more concerned that you handle this with a humble spirit than with getting any great "injustices" corrected. It's not about what happens to you; it's about who you are.


I also agree that this situation will probably not change. It should, but like it or not, you are probably not the one God is going to use to change it - yet. I feel for you; I can honestly say 'been there, lived through it.' But I've had to learn the hard way to let go of some things. It's the only way to peace, both for yourself and for the church.

I have to ask this one question: With so much junk going on and a seeming lack of wisdom and grace in the Leadership, why are you still wanting to be involved in this fellowship? Is it the only one in town? Do you have any other options?


But another question: You seem to be caught up in the petty in-fighting yourself. Is there any way that you can step back and take the higher ground at this point? Or is it too late? I ask this because it seems that you're quite on the offensive and I wouldn't think they would receive that too well.




Am I the only person who noticed that he said his brother is the pastor at this church?
Yea, I know, it's pretty complex. I can't keep track of who said what.
Kind of like "Who's on First; What's on Second..." I find that when things get too hard to follow, it's best to stop everything and start the conversation over from a new perspective.
Sounds like the church is having some spiritual issues. If your calling is leading worship, you can't fight it. However, you can lead worship else where. I suggest turning it over to God and let Him lead you to where you need to serve. I would suggest you to stop with the letters and stay clear of the trouble makers. Make sure that what ever you do, focus on what is best for the church and its unity.

Being asked to step down is always hard.  It has happened to me before and I was devistated.  I thought I was doing what God had called me to do and was at a loss as to why it was happening.  I stepped down but did not leave the worship team.  I learned through this that sometimes God uses difficult times in our lives to build us up and help us to be better Disciples of Him.  God eventually led my wife and myself to a different church that was in desparate need of help with praise and worship.  When we arrived at that church, they were singing to cassette tapes that were recorded with 7 different songs and there was no way to change the songs around.  each week they would sing one of eleven different tapes.  the pastor's wife was leading worship, even though she didn't want to.  After six months, we became members and I was asked to take over the worship ministry.  over the next seven years, we went from those tapes to a full worship band.  I realized after all of that, that God used my time as a worship leader at my old church to prepare me for creating a new worship ministry from scratch. 

Sometimes we can't see what God is doing in our lives.  We can only see what is happening at that moment and cannot see what he has in store for us around the corner of the next day or week.  All we can do is trust that He knows what he is doing and allow Him to to lead us on the path He has laid out for us.  Sometimes we cannot change or fight the powers over us, but we can put it in God's hands and let Him take control.  Let Him lead you!  Don't try to fight what is happening to you.  Accept it graciously and if God leads you to stay, stay.  But maybe God is calling you to do something else and this is His way of preparing you for it.  All we can do is stay in His will and in His hands, trusting in God that He knows what is best for us.  And believe it or not, He does!  Pray, read your Bible, and trust Him.  That's all we can do.









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