Feedback Requested - "Shine" - Is it sing-able for groups/congregations?

Please listen to a worship song "Shine" and tell me if it is paced right for groups/congregations to sing.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxOy8Jy1IMI   Sometimes I am critical of "worship songs" that are not really suitable for the congregations to sing, but then I end up making songs more difficult to sing than I mean to.  Anyway, your thoughts about that, or any other aspect of the song, would be appreciated.  (I realize that it makes one think of "Shine Jesus Shine", but it is quite a bit different altogether than that song).  Thank you.

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Hi Brian, ooh yes, really like it.  I think it is ideal for congregational singing as it is repetitive in a really positive way, and would be easy to pick up.  Would I use it?  Yes, I most definitely would : )  It has lots of room for improvisation for the worship leader too.  Well done.

I would probably pass on this one because I think that the rhythms are tricky, especially "how many beats to pause before singing the next phrase."  If we did do this with our band, I think we would smooth out the rhythms a lot, to the point where it might start sounding a lot like "Shine, Jesus Shine."  The lyrics are okay, but they seem a little church-speak to me ("open our eyes to illuminating truth.").

I listened to a bunch of your other videos, and the one that I'd be most interested in is "This Narrow Road" - it seemed like something our congregation could learn by just hearing it.  As seems to be true of most of your songs, there are a LOT of lyrics, and if we were going to do this I'd probably ask your permission to just extract the second verse and chorus and make that the whole song, go around twice but that would be it.  I know that worship songs tend to be getting longer and longer, but I'm not a fan of that.  "Faith That Pleases You" I noted as a "maybe," I think we would wind up speeding that one up to a mid-tempo song and, again, extracting what seem like the best bits of a long lyric.

Kudos to you for including the lyrics with your videos.  Suggestion for future efforts, aim the camera at the singer, not at the piano music stand.

Hope that's helpful.

Thank you for taking the time to listen and for your response.  I'm glad that you like this song.  If you want to try it in a worship setting, I would be honored.  However, if you need me to indicate chords, that will take time. :-)  I play it in C (but I used that little +1 transpose button to perform it in the recording (C#/D-flat).

Thanks Charles W.  I appreciate the honest feedback and I will take all that you wrote as constructive.  Just a couple of things: 1) About half of the songs I have posted are not intended for congregational singing, but are intended as CCM / performance songs for meditation - perhaps something one might hear on Christian radio.  In that case, "This Narrow Road" is not intended as a group "worship song".   2) The videos are intended as rough song-demos.  Having the camera pointed at the floor would have been preferable to me since I meant only to capture the song(s). :-)  Overall I appreciate your thoughts.  Thank you.

The link doesn't work for me now.

Not sure why the link isn't working for Toni except that it works only when you get all of the link URL info. The link is http://youtu.be/DxOy8Jy1IMI

Hi Brian,

I played along with your song this morning after reading Charles comment about 'how many beats to pause before singing the next phrase' and although I didn't find it too tricky, I can see what Charles means. However, I think that you have done the song in your style, in how you interpret the song and are using timing that suits you.  I went on to play the song independently and just let it develop and have to say that I really enjoyed doing it and improvising with it.  It has something about it that really appeals to me and considering my own worship situation, think it would really work. 


Brian Lawson said:

Thank you for taking the time to listen and for your response.  I'm glad that you like this song.  If you want to try it in a worship setting, I would be honored.  However, if you need me to indicate chords, that will take time. :-)  I play it in C (but I used that little +1 transpose button to perform it in the recording (C#/D-flat).

I must admit that I do not play at a steady beat, so it is irregular, especially since I hesitated as while playing. The idea when recording this was to capture the song idea, so it may have been immature on my part to throw it out there to this group at this point. But, so I learn. Thanks again for listening and trying it out.

Hi Brian,

I may not have explained my comment clearly, sorry.  I fully realised that when you recorded the song that you wanted to capture the song as a whole, which I did.  I did not pick up on any hesitations until I played along with it.  Please don't for one minute think you were immature for posting it to the group, there are all sorts of musicians on here, some very professional, but I am not one of them.  Heaven forbid that I should record anything, too scared, as I am very critical about myself more than anything else.  Believe you me, I am no recording artist, I get by and love what I do, but admire those like yourself who are able to record.

It is not very often that I comment on songs on WTR, but like I said originally, I love this song and have found myself singing it all weekend, to me, always the most important indication of a good song.

God Bless.  Lorraine 

 

Hi Brian,

I like your song. I would not use it for congregational singing just because it would not work in my church, HOWEVER, I would use it as quiet altar/prayer/contemplative music. Thanks for sharing.

Stephanie

Hi Lorraine,
Thanks again. I'll try not to over think the whole thing. I think it would have helped to have played it more smoothly before asking others to examine it for pace and suitability for congregational singing. I also get a little overexcited when God touches my heart in the song writing process and want to share with others.
Thanks Stephaie, I am glad that you would use the song in the way you stated. Also, welcome to the group, I just arrived here a couple days ago.



Stephanie Aguilar said:

Hi Brian,

I like your song. I would not use it for congregational singing just because it would not work in my church, HOWEVER, I would use it as quiet altar/prayer/contemplative music. Thanks for sharing.

Stephanie

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