I am an experienced worship leader and choir director. My husband relocated to a new state and joined a church that does not allow female worship "leaders". So, I sing background vocals and occasionally lead a song. We LOVE the church and the teaching but I am so hungry to be used more in worship. I really don't have a relationship with the team. We practice, then worship. The men worship leaders do not mentor women. And the women in charge are really singers with an admin role. We've had a few "stage training" sessions on how to clap, how to have eye contact, what to wear, how much makeup to wear. But nothing spiritual. No team worship time. I am used to having deep worship time with my team members and strong spiritual friendships. I have none of that on this team and it really hurts. I know they value me for what I contribute, but at the same time, I'm spiritually being really STUNTED in this ministry.  How do I know when it's time to step down? Am I being selfish?

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That's Inspiring! Amen Greg!

Here's an article you might find interesting...


I would say....................put your running shoes on and break the world record for running out of a church and slamming the door behind you!!!!  What you have just described to me is a church that has lost the plot or never had it to begin with! Excuse me for my outburst but this is a church that does not let the Holy Spirit in. Unfortunately there are churches that are under the illusion that they set the rules on worship just like putting on a SHOW. This is not broadway, stage training??? eye contact, what to wear, makeup!!!!! My Lord!!!  Seriously, you need to pray for God to show you where he would have you be, if it was me, I would be out of there in a heartbeat, but you need to seek the Holy Spirit and follow His leading. You obviously have a passion for Worship and God knows your heart, He will not have you be in a place where He cannot use you and where you can continue to grow in the knowledge of Him. If I were you, the first thing I would do is step down and if any one asks you why you are stepping down be honest with them in a loving way. Please contact me if you want to discuss more, I have experienced similar situation but God led me to where He wanted me to be, many blessings, I will pray for you, Ian <>/p>

What? You don't wear makeup on the worship platform? 

But truly - there's nothing wrong with helping people realize they shouldn't be deadpan. Just being a happy and joyful person isn't always enough, especially if you're in a mega church with a large auditorium. One doesn't naturally know what to do, especially then. What works in a smaller venue will not work in a large one. Your leaders can come across deadpan and unconnected, even if they feel connected. And nothing will discourage the congregation from participating than unconnected leaders. It becomes necessary to do things differently and often more pronounced.

Sometimes, it's as simple as reminding your people that they need to smile and act joyful. At other times, when the size of the auditorium dictates, it can take a concerted effort to work on stage presence. And if you're on camera/screen being broadcast to another auditorium, it's even more important to realize how you will come across. And doing makeup for on-stage/on-camera can be very different than day-to-day makeup.

This can make people uncomfortable, as if they're not being lead by the Holy Spirit. But it's no different than training preachers how to preach, how to organize a sermon for impact etc. or telling him that he needs to clip his nose hairs so they don't show up on camera.

I'm not aware of the OP's spefic situation, but I know these things are common.

I'm sorry I don't agree with you at all Stevo, but that's ok my friend you're still my brother in Christ and that's what sets us apart. We may not agree on everything, but our love and compassion never fades, I would gladly play and sing in Worship with you anytime, whether you wore make up or not, many blessings, Ian

"This can make people uncomfortable"      

I often think the songs picked and the sermon should be making people more uncomfortable than they do!  This is Discipleship.  Jesus is challenging the world view and it's hold on us!

Why a big show.  Many years ago I when to a big gig (1977) the headliners were Genesis ( aircraft landing lights,  computeried mirrors, lasers) but the unlisted Roy Harper played two songs on the edge of the stage we could not really see him.  His passion and delivery captivated the crowd.   I don't agree with many of Roy Harper's views but if in knowing the truth we could communicate it with passion then let forget what we look like.

Of course that's the priority and heart of it. But a deadpan delivery will make people uncomfortable in a different way - one that you don't want. It's that simple. People have to be coached on this stuff from time to time. To an extent, it is a show. It's a show for God and His people. Should the priests have refused the holy clothing they were required to wear because it was a show? It's not about copying the world, it's about a better worship experience that encourages participation.

A "deadpan" worshiper is should not be on the platform. I think it is more disruptive to have someone on the platform that is not an active participant in leading worship. So, we train them to PERFORM. We practice, level out the sound, sync the lights, time the videos... all this production, for God. But we don't have time to actually spend in worship together. We don't lift our hands in worship and engaging in deep, authentic worship together as a team.  Yet, we require the performance of it on stage. Yes. It is a show and I don't think it suppose to be.  Church has become a "product", a palatable,entertaining worship experience.Good music, good teaching.....and no expectation of a real encounter with God. To promises.Just because we bring God our offering, it doesn't mean it's acceptable.

Lyssa -

If it's "not a show", why are we to keep deadpan leaders off the platform?  You can be a very active participant and a very intense worshiper without having your face showing a great deal of expression.  I think the advertising world has sold us a mythology that certain expressions equal passion.

The world is chock-full of Diogeneses looking for an honest person -- why should we deny them access to simple honesty? 

Consider Jonathan Edwards, who preached in a measured fashion, with a habit of pausing to stare at the bell rope between thoughts (maybe that was intentional?); but commentators universally describe him as having a mediocre delivery, but great power in expressing the thoughts that have made his sermons influential to this day.

Is that a hint of rouge I see on your picture? 

Hay, maaaaan.... my Dad got to play the organ for Welk on TV once, and he declined makeup -- he just wanted to be himself.  He looked like a ghost, a strange balding phantom (in an even stranger world of music).

It's all in the bubbles. Welk had the best bubbles man.


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