I can sympathize with you... I used to work at a church in Hawaii... We had three major military bases that attended our services from week to week.
I would use the Psalms as your standard of judging what's girly and what's not. Most of the Psalms were written by David and he was a man's man. He killed his 10,000s and also a bear and a lion. I knew a lot of guys in the military...none of them every killed a lion or a bear with a blunt object.
If you read the Psalms you may find that you need to make some changes... But you also may find that your military guys may need to make some changes as well.
Incidentally, some of the greatest authors and poets throughout history have also been some of the greatest warriors throughout history.
You can't lose with standard hymns or Gather songs. I stay away from songs I call "my boyfriend Jesus" type lyrics where it could be sung to anybody else besides God; sappy, like the sloppy wet kiss song. I have found the men in our congregation really sing to songs that are the hymns or scripture based; have meat to them versus emotional fluff.
I think the biggest thing is making it singable - in a key that all can do - C to shining C is always good. We had one band leader at a church who was a fabulous Irish tenor. He would not adjust the song key to make it singable for anybody else. While the song choice wasn't bad, the men would be laughing as he hit note a soprano would hit. He wasn't leading singing, he was performing. That is not congregational singing IMBO
For us, it is focusing on what is a good congregational song vs what would be a better song for a band performance. I personally don't care for all the songs with LA LAs and OH OH OH OHs as our congregation spans age groups and this is not something the majority would care for. That is more geared to teens and might work for a youth group.
We are not a church with a "band" so most of the new 'Christian' music on the radio does not work for us; chugging guitars, chugging piano and drums but no instrumental melody line except the vocal. It is hard for people to follow a melody when there is nothing to follow. We are a piano and two vocals. When we do have more instruments play they are orchestral. Music notation is required as charts don't work for that. We enjoy doing a variety of songs Some from old CCM in the 70s, 80s and 90s. Gospel such as Gathers and Andre Crouch as well as old and contemporary hymns.