i have suffered from the big "D" off and on since 2001. i am a lay person worship leader and am on meds i would say a very low dosage. i have bennifitted much from the meds,counseling, group therapy, personal therapy, my doctor and major support from family friendz and church family.

every time i ween off meds, i crash and am convinced that it ( for me ) is definately, at this point, a chemical imbalance issue. i have dealt with my triggers and screwed up thinking and have also benifitted from coping mechanisms... and of course, as this community knows, Yeshua has walked w/ me through this valley of death and i rely heavily on Him.

i have much to say about this issue and soooo many are affected by it....

i am proof that people CAN get through this !!!

depressiont is very crude, rough and debilitating... sometimes a minute by minute struggle.... it is utter darkness and complete madness....and i believe, also, a taste of literal hell....

i think of meds as an adaptive device ( like a handicapped individual would use ) .... a tool to help w/ your seratonin levels... to keep an even keel, while you work on your " stuff".

the trick with these " tools " is that you have to find the right one and the correct dossage..

and waiting for the right combonation of meds and dosage sucks, because you just want immidiate relief rfom the torment....

anyhow... i could go on and on about this stuff... but if you are reading this and are one who is hurting right now... or for that matter a loved one of one who is hurting from this condition,

know this and recieve  this ...


PERSON !!!!    i am here for you !!!!......... Jesus sent me to this discussion for you my brotheren !!!

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Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts, especially since you are a guy!  Sometimes we women

tend to think we are the main ones who struggle, but it is reassuring to know it can be anybody.

What a great post,....thanks

thanx Joe and Diana..

other things that help are diet, exercise, and ( even though it is hard when u are absolutly NOT motivated ) getting out there and doing stuff ie..... work, hobbies and being w/ people,

if you are a worship leader and or a worshiper ( arent we all ).....  worship God anyhow !!! .... worship is all about Him and not our warm fuzzy feelings.  You will actually learn a deeper level of worship as you walk through the valley. Pray HARD, journal and do somthing absolutly ABSURD ...... start thanking the Lord for the depression... and ask Him to help you be thankfull for the trial, which is a growing period of the most tourcherous kind... cause you can not run from it for it is in your head.....  oh yeah... also there is a coping mechanism called cognitive reasoning .... you actually keep telling yourself that you will feel better and that the negative thoughts that you might encounter are false and your feelings ( not your issues lets be clear on that) are not reallity... its just your incorrect thinking leading you down a bad path.   

this all being said, i know that i know it is SUPER hard to deal with depression and these things mentioned are only techniques and strategies to help.... except the worship thing i mentioned ...that is our lifestyle brotheren !!!

and if one feels that one is in danger of hurting ones self, it is OK to seek emergency help... cause if you are physically ill or injured, you go to a doctor or hospital... for mental injuries or illnesses, we can do the same... we were meant to live .... and though depression is extreemly difficult to live through, we are overcomers in Christ

i love you all


I suffered depression many years ago. I'm in a witness band and part of or approach is to be honest in our songs. I have had a lot of response over then years for the song I wrote when I had depression. A member of the congregation I was in just over a year ago said it helped him to know that others had been through what he was suffering. It's called Black Clouds, here are the words:

Black Clouds above my head
I don’t know why
I don’t know why
Crying like someone’s dead
I don’t know why
I don’t know why

I can count my blessings
I’m standing in the sun
Then the chemicals in my head unbalance: the Black Clouds come

Lie in Bed and cannot sleep
I don’t know why
I don’t know why
Stare all night from the TV Seat
I don’t know why
I don’t know why


Eating food that I don’t need
I don’t know why
I don’t know why
An open book that I can’t read
I don’t know why
I don’t know why


I resigned to the fact I may never get my smile back
I keep on track with the only thing I know
That when things are dark the light
Glorious Light, will win the day


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