I reworked this as per Charles critique.
Don't know if it will make this song sound more modern
I made some changes
I brought back the strings in the mix
I added some drum kicks
I made it faster
I did try to sing it on the downbeat, as Charles mentioned, as I (rest) then sing, but I seem to be married to that. So I added a dist guitar to give it a more definite feel. Not sure if this hurts or helps
This is the remixed version
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13614218
But what I am wondering now is lyrically, should this be "On The Holy Mountain", but instead be re-worked to say "Take me to the mountain".
Just a thought
What do you think?
here are the present lyrics
.
On The Holy Mountain
Verse 1
How I’m longing to see the day
Where the wolf and the lamb will stay
Where the goat and the leopard lay
And a child shall lead them
Verse 2
There the cow and the bear will graze
Ox and lions are eating hay
How with them an infant plays
For no harm shall seize them
CHORUS
On the Holy Mountain of the Lord
On the Holy Mountain of the Lord
Nothing will harm
Nothing destroyed
On the Holy Mountain of the Lord
Verse 3
When the world is as it should be
When all nature will live in peace
When all men fall on bended knee
Glorious His Kingdom
CHORUS
BRIDGE
The earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord
As waters cover the sea
A banner for humanity, every nation will rally
Jesus Messiah, Root of Jesse
Isaiah 11:6-10
By the way if you want to compare, this is the original song link
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Okay, somewhere below this message there is an MP3 that I put together for a couple purposes...
I made the backing track with Band In a Box, and the thing I want to mention about that is that it took me under fifteen minutes to create the whole backing track, using one of the BIAB styles (this one is supposed to sound sorta like the Eagles). So just... if it's taking you more than 15 minutes to put your own MIDI tracks together, you might want to look into BIAB. It's a couple hundred bucks, but, like I said, it took less than 15 minutes to put this together, and if you're going to do everything in MIDI anyway, it's a really handy tool, I think...
I also "shifted the beat" on the verse parts so you could hear what I was talking about. This is a trick I learned years ago for taking hymn tunes and making them sound more, umm, modern; I applied it to "Hallelujah, What a Savior" and it came out sounding like a James Taylor song. Seriously. I moved this down a couple steps (to the key of A) and I know that my singing isn't great, but I didn't spend a lot of time on the vocal either. And I made a couple minor lyric changes and I adjusted some of the lines in the bridge so that words like "Jesse" fit the rhythm.
Anyway... if we did this song at our church, this is about what it would end up sounding like. Do as you please with it.
wow
thanks
I can't believe it took you 15 minutes
I work on my songs for many, many hours, making the back tracks
I will be buying this BIAB
Thanks for the info and for taking the time to show me via the mp3
Blessings
ang :)
Well, I suggested BIAB because the original demo sounded just like it was done with BIAB, and it's a tool that lets me put together a backing track in 15 minutes, and Angela said that she was spending hours doing hers manually, track by track. So I suggested it simply as a way to save time == record more songs.
Yeah, it would be lovely if we all had real bands and the equipment to make great recordings of real musicians playing our songs. But we don't all have that, and in this case, it's a tool that will let her produce the same type of demos a lot more quickly. I use it if I need to crank out a real quick demo for our singers to work out harmonies (we do a lot of our songs in lower keys than the youtube videos).
I would agree with Kevin.. take me to the mountain!!
Thanks to Charles' crit, I now have BIAB!
Here is the BIAB version
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