Awesome... I think of David's relationship to Saul. Saul was God's annoitnted leader and even though Saul was trying to kill David he Honored Gods leadership.
It wasnt easy for David to Honor Saul, but he did it. Ive had to reign in my desire for control and autonomy too... It hurts my pride...Kill My Pride Lord....
Check out he book "Three Kings" it was an eye opener for me.
David, I like your examples...one must have a very good reason for going against what the pastor envisions for the church. Pastors are not infallible and nor do I believe in blind obediance of any human being, ordained or otherwise, but we have to really be sure that our concerns are not based on our own pride and sense of self-importance.
That being said...I don't know your experience and background/training as a worship leader, Levite, but depending on that, I'd be wondering what is bringing this "hands-on" type of behavior. Is it because my choices have not been flying too well lately, and my pastor is sensing that I need guidance? Then this is a good time to sit down and say to him, "Okay, I'd like to learn from this and make use of your wisdom and experience. Please teach me so that I can be a worship leader you can trust as a partner in your ministry here." (or something like that; you get the picture)
I'd want to hear the answer to that before I'd say any more...
If it's an ongoing source of tension, you've talked about it but cannot resolve it then the best thing to do is step down. A good question to ask is "am I in rebellion to this man or is he just lousy to work for". Some people are lousy to work with and deliberately will not change, while others are socially inept but mean well. Sometimes we're also rebellious, and that needs to be considered as a possible cause too.
Be very careful not to build up resentment. Micromanagement is destructive and quickly takes confidence and faith away from those suffering under it. I think one is generally better walking away that to live under it for a long time, unless you are required to stay and submit.
I hate micromanagers. I also dislike it when somebody tries to make me do something I just can't do. If you're in the latter, then you probably need to find some sort of concession or consider going to minister someplace where you can worship as God provisioned you to worship.