I am a music leader at the church.. And right now I have a question that bothering my mind...
Would you all give me an opinion about when, how, and why we need to postpone a servant of God? (especially in the church band)....
Really need your opinion...
I know that each church have their own rule and regulation. please share your thoughts with me...
"I've seen more battles over the control of worship then any other."
Why is this so? Few people try to control the sermon, the offering, the ushering, the way we hold communion, etc. Yet sometimes it seems like everyone is an expert on how the worship should be done (or not done...).
Could it be that they just view it as entertainment, and thus if it isn't "their style" they feel they have the right to voice their preference? I wish that the church would take a few minutes to think about how much time, effort and sweat equity the worship team puts in to trying to create (as much as it lies with them) a time in the service where we can together draw close to our Father in humbleness and praise.
Then again, how many times have I internally criticized another team when the worship wasn't up to what I wanted to see...ouch.
Right now I'm dealing with a dear saint who makes it her personal business to monitor volume levels each week, and makes sure she expresses her views to the sound tech, right before the start of the service. The pastor and I are meeting this week to discuss it. Pray for wisdom!
I know this thread is about when a worship leader or a team has problems with a member of the team. What about if a member has problems with the worship leader? I am not talking bad immoral behavior, but criticisms about the way they are running the team or how the leader is treating them? Should a member step down due to conflict or should a member accept anything the worship leader decides because after all he is the worship leader? To further that, what if others have a problem with him? What if even the senior pastor is looking for a replacement for him but he doesn't completely know that? What should the person do, quietly continue to serve and be patient and tolerate the person, or step down to eliminate conflict? Or, meet with the leader to try and resolve the issues anyway?
Hi Dan..actually I have the same situation like you.... (in my case, the worship leader who has an issue) so..it really hard to go straight with him....
Just pray and we should have a meeting together with the senior pastor and the music leader..
Hey Dan, as a worship leader myself, I welcome any opportunity for dialoge with my teammembers about how things are going. I know it's not easy for them to call me up and say, "Could we have coffee? I want to discuss something..." but when they do great progress is made. When they don't, but rather start complaining behind my back to all the others on the team, then it can lead to real disaster down the road. Been there, done that...
The problem (and I've mentioned this in another post) is that some leaders are not very approachable, and some resent being questioned on even the smallest detail. Those are leaders with a problem.
How do you deal with them? Try the personal approach, even two or three times if you have to. But if you continue to get the vibes that "It's my way or the highway", then you have to decide whether the issue is worth quiting over or not.
Sometimes the Lord wants us to learn grace; other times He's nudging us on to another area of service. In either case, we as the team member have to maintain a servant's heart and be above reproach in all we say or do.
When it has been very beneficial to meet with someone, what is the most productive type of conversation? Did the person tell you about what made them upset? Did you or they agree to boundaries or solutions? What was best? Was there any time you met with someone that it did destruction (fighting or arguing or whatever) more than construction (resolving conflict, win win situation, etc)? If so, how would you have changed that?
Wow, that's a lot to answer in one post! I'll try to condense it (people write books on this stuff...)
The most productive type of conversation: I'd say the best conversations are where you listen the most.
If they called the meeting, then I'd make it informal, start by asking about them (how are they doing, what's happening in their lives lately) and really listen to their answers. You'll learn a lot about them that will give you clues as to why this particular thing is bothering them.
Then transition it by asking,"You wanted to meet because something was on your mind. Tell me about it." Then listen until they get it all out. Don't offer solutions until you've really heard their heart.
Did we always agree with the solution? No, not always. Sometimes I was able to clear up a misunderstanding and life was great.
Other times I sensed that the person had a deeper emotional issue, and the best I could do was appologize (even if it really wasn't all my fault, there's no doubt that some part of it was - we are all human after all) and assure them that we'd work on the issue together. But in those situations, I generally have this premonition that somewhere down the road we'll be parting company unless the Lord intervenes. Sad, but people are people.
On the times when the problem was obviously something I caused by my actions, then I would sincerely applogize and ask them to be my helper in making sure we didn't make that mistake again. If they agree, they have now become your helper instead of a hindrance.
There are times when as a leader you sense something is wrong, so you try to draw that out of the person. In that case, I'll arrange to spend time with them, and just hang out, have a coffee, help them paint the living room, whatever. In the best case scenerio, they'll become free enough to broach the subject. If they do, you're on good ground. Again, listen and use all the wisdom you have.
But I've also had people who refuse to meet. That tells you right there that this won't end well.
The bottom line is that you can't always make people agree with you. What you can do is make sure you have left the lines of communication open, that you harbor no ill-will towards them, and that you only respond with grace, even when you're wronged. Do this and it will leave you free to move on in the things God has for you.
Not everything in life has a happy ending. But the disciple of Christ is not looking for happy endings in this world so much as having peace in their heart before God. As the Bible says, "as much as it lies with you, be at peace with all men."