I've had a little thing come up. I'm trying to decide what, if anything, I need to do about it. It's related to the visible demeanor of one of my singers. She has a very serious air about her most of the time on Sunday morning. She is a very committed member of the team and has been for quite some time. She is a very good singer, a single mom of two working her way through college to be a teacher and is almost there. She has a very strong faith, a strong work ethic and is a strong team player. Outside of Sunday morning she loves to have fun and rehearsals are a blast. But on Sunday morning she takes on a somewhat serious and aloof demeanor. She doesn't often smile and never physically engages in worship. That contrasts greatly with the other singers that are smiling, clapping, raising their hands, etc. Every so often a member of the congregation will ask me about her, if she is ok, does she not enjoy praising God like the other singer? Is she just up there to satisfy her own need to sing? I talked to her once about this and her reaction was something like...
"That IS how I praise and worship God. My relationship with God is a serious and reverent one. Is it right for others to criticize or judge me based on my style of worship? Is it ok for me to fake my style of worship to make someone in the congregation happy? It's not in my DNA to fake my relationship with God."
Hmm..... some good points. Since then I've let it go, worship has been fine, the congregation is engaging, yet this past week a different member of the congregation brought it up again. The first time I talked to my pastor about it she felt it was a problem and I needed to talk to the singer about it. This time I mentioned it to my pastor and she felt it was good because the members of the congregation that worship in the same way could connect with her instead of feeling inadequate by not worshiping like our more energetic members.
Anyone have any experience with this? Thoughts? Advice?