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Like an Avalanche

This is a song I wrote a while back and have been looking at again. I would love to hear what you guys think of it and if you have any ideas/suggestions/criticisms. I just recorded it on my phone, so apologies for the quality... :) Blessings!

Verse 1:
Turn my heart from selfish gain
Let me look to You alone
Turn my eyes from worthless things (can't decide between "worthless" or "worldly" - any ideas?)
Let me follow You alone

Pre-chorus:
One thing I desire is to dwell in Your presence
One thing that I seek is to gaze upon Your beauty

Chorus:
Draw me close,
Enfold me in Your loving arms
Sing over me,
Let Your melody flood my heart

Verse 2:
May I live a life of love,
Let me see the world as You do.
May my praise bless Your Name,
Let all that I do honour You.

Bridge:
Like an avalanche, Your love overtakes me
Like a hurricane, Your love overwhelms me
Oh rain down Your love on me
Oh rain down Your love

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Attachments:

Like an Avalanche 1.mp3, 3.6 MB

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Bob Code on April 8, 2014 at 12:47am

Great song :)

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Patterson on April 8, 2014 at 8:16am

Thanks for listening, Bob! I appreciate it! :)

Permalink Reply by anderson maples on April 8, 2014 at 1:27pm

I agree with Zachary. I would use the word"worthless" as it seems to flow with with "selfish.

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Patterson on April 8, 2014 at 1:49pm

Thanks so much for your input, Anderson! It is much appreciated! I am indeed going to go with "worthless"... :)

Permalink Reply by anderson maples on April 8, 2014 at 8:33pm

I enjoyed the song. I think worthless is the word to use in the first verse and from your feedback, I think you agree. I also agree with Ed concerning the title. First, it does sound like a Hillsong title. Secondly, the words "Like An Avalanche" don't come to the later part of the song. To me, the hook of the song in the line "Let Your melody flood my heart." I think that your title should be tied into that line somehow.

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Patterson on April 9, 2014 at 9:15am

Thanks Anderson! I'm still thinking about the title - it's a tricky one, haha! :)

Permalink Reply by Arthur J Baker on June 28, 2014 at 3:45pm

Turn my heart from selfish gain

Let me look to you once again

Turn my eyes from worthless things

Let me feel the peace your love brings

This song is okay but what do you think of the changes i made to make it flow better?

Permalink Reply by David Maynard on July 24, 2014 at 7:03am

Is it put to a melody and if so Where can I hear it? If you need help let me know.

Permalink Reply by Wayne Eric Chew on August 6, 2014 at 7:36am

Do you have the music set? I might have written "Help Me Follow You Home in the 4th line of the first verse to have a rhyme scheme to the 2nd line, since you rhymed the 2nd and 4th line in the 2nd verse; and then repeated the 4th line in a 5th line in both verses, I totally love how you explained the seeking of "Turn my eyes from 'worthless' things." I kind of like the bridge as the chorus and the chorus as the bridge, love the flow of the words . . .seems so singable and meaningful; and is the bread of the song, really. Your words are heartfelt and communicate so much to others. I have felt those very same words.

Permalink Reply by Wayne Eric Chew on August 6, 2014 at 7:39am

Oh, I see the link to the music. Sry. It is late at night and will listen tomorrow. Maybe as I listen to the music my previous suggestions will make zero sense.