The path ahead was calm and quiet, slowly twisting through the meadow toward the Aspen trees that lay ahead. The tall grass moved back and forth in the cool summer breeze.
Suddenly and without warning, a massive wall was blocking my way. I stopped and could not move. The wall was ominous and menacing. It looked down at me as if to say “Whom shall dare to pass?”
I was unable to move. Fear gripped my heart and every nerve in my body. I looked up and saw the wall reaching to the sky as far as I could see. To the right and left of me the wall stretched. I then looked down and the ground beneath my feet turned translucent so I could now see the wall going down as far as I could see. There was truly no way out.
I slowly stretched out my hand to touch the wall. The pain shot through my hand and up my arm. It hurt. I let out a cry and pulled my hand back expecting to see my palm bleeding. There was nothing. Still no way out, I pressed my hand out again. To my surprise, the wall was not solid as my hand sank deep into it. The pain was searing as I felt as if my arm would be burned off. With all my might, I jammed my other hand into the wall. I now stood before the wall with both arms up to my elbows lodged in the wall. It was though I was on fire or being electrocuted. The pain was taking the breath right out of me. I yanked both hands out of the wall as I fell to the ground. I lay there gasping in huge gulps of air as if there was not enough.
When I looked down at my arms, I saw nothing. No scars, no burns. I could still feel the pain though. It’s ugly reminder that it was still there.
I was getting weary. Maybe I’ll just lay here till it goes away. How long would that be?
I still had enough strength to roll onto my knees then stand up. I let out a simple prayer, “Please God, give me strength”.
God simply replied, “I am here”.
“What will you do for me?” I asked.
I slowly stood to my feet. I faced the wall once again. All I knew was God was here. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and leaned forward. I pressed my face into the wall. The pain hit me again and was so strong that it was literally taking the life from me. I picked my foot up and stepped through the wall.
Shaking from the pain and barely able to stand up, I opened my eyes. My aching body was now lodged inside the wall. However, to my surprise I could once again see the path ahead of me. It was like a sudden burst of energy. I could feel my second wind. Fresh air filled my tired lungs. I lunged forward and fell out of the wall and to the ground.
I stood up and looked back at the wall that was now behind me. What was infinitely high and wide was only a few inches thick. The wall was still there but I can now move ahead. Dusting myself off, I headed down the road.
It’s kind of funny because I can still feel the pain from time to time and the memory never really goes away. I can still hear that wall mocking me saying, “I’ll come back again someday”.
I just smile and say, “That’s okay. I know how to walk through”.
Inspired by my friends Mike and Brannon Mooney and the stories they shared surrounding the shootings on 12/2007 at the Youth with a Mission base in Arvada, CO and the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, and also my own personal “Going Through”.
To anyone who is “Going Through” I dedicate this to you. God’s peace and strength to you. He IS here.