Interested in the input of other band members, regarding emotions felt when enable to attend all events that the worship leader, team schedules.

I take full accountablity to attend as much as possible, but i still feel guilt when I can't participate in each event. I know our God is not a God of guilt but it is hard to not feel guilt. Our worship pastor has been to every single thing for probably more than 10 years and I cant make certain events cause of work, baby etc. The balance of life and ministry is hard.

Views: 25

Comment by Junjie on March 5, 2010 at 3:19pm
Nope, it isn't hard. You don't seem very balanced if you feel you HAVE to be there for everything. YOur worship pastor can, and it helps that it's his or her full-time job. But it isn't yours.

Just curious, was your earthly father a perfectionist? :)
Comment by Ariel Salazar on March 5, 2010 at 5:03pm
As a leader, I never put that kind of pressure on my team. I would not expect that every member of my team can be there for every event. My responsibility is to build the team so that the expectation is not for everyone to be there all of the time.

You used the word balance, and I believe that balance is the key. You have to set priorities in your life. Family and Work are important. Let the guilt go and be free from that kind of thinking. It's nice that you are as committed as you are, but it should never be to your detriment.
Comment by Lorraine Doswell on March 5, 2010 at 9:36pm
Hi Gladys, be assured, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about......Ok, it's good to go to events as and when you can...... ..some people - like your pastor - are in a position to attend more events, but that does not mean you are less of a Christian because you can't attend all events. God has blessed you with a beautiful child, and caring for your child is a ministry in itself. God knows your cirumstances and will use you and work through you, in those circumstances. It is wonderful to hear how committed you are, and like Ariel says, it's all about keeping the balance right - you know, God is always with you whether you are attending an event or singing your child to sleep..... God bless you. Lorraine
Comment by Brenda Hannah on March 9, 2010 at 12:06am
There are so many ways that the Lord would have us serve, first is to Him, then our families, then ministry. And if taking care of your family requires you to work or be with your family, then your leadership should smile. Yes, some us are paid to do what we do, and most of us are not as worship pastors or leaders and we are like Lorraine said, in the position to do more or attend more. Balance is the key to success, and making your family 1st priority and then balancing everything after that will come more easily. You will be able to say "Yes", and you will be able to say "Next Time" for some things and "No" for other things, and when you take time to plan your month or week, it will become less stressful because everyone including you will know exactly where you want to be and where you should be...your household will be more happy and you will not be guilt ridden. And if anyone makes you feel guilty for not being somewhere, then they need to look at their own life. There was a pastor that I know personally that would tell that to the congregation, and his family was there when they were sick, when they needed to be on a vacation, and when they needed to just be a family, and you know that family now is split into a million pieces, because they made church their 1st priority, and if God was their first priority then their family would have been there passion and ministry 1st instead of controlling other families and making them feel guilty for not being or doing things in the church, when all of the time their family was falling apart. Ministry comes at a healthy balance. Enjoy God, Minister to your family and God will bless you with the rest.
Comment by Crystal Barker on March 9, 2010 at 5:58am
I am a worship pastor, and I will tell you that I don't expect anyone on my team to be at every single event. You should not feel guilty at all! They try to be there when they can (especially if there is something special going on) but everyone knows they have the freedom to take a day off if they have work or some other obligation - or even just a weekend off with family....there has to be some liberty or you will burn out...everyone in leadership understands this and I'm sure your worship leader would agree
Comment by rusty eskew on March 23, 2010 at 10:52am
While I agree with the posts made, I would add that it is nice to hear from those who are unable to attend. Whether it be practice of an event, the worship leader needs to know who will be there. We don't have permanent space for the contemporary service at our church so I set up and tear down before and after each practice or service. Knowing who will or will not be there not only helps plan songs, but also the amount of equipment to set up.


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